New Website-- New Blog

I am happy to share my new website and blog with you. I’m thrilled with the new look! And I’m grateful for the opportunity to share the ins and outs of my writing, speaking, and family life work with you.

The new site has everything the old site had–and more. You can still watch television clips of my Fox 25 Morning News appearances, listen to radio clips, and read feature articles. A more user friendly Library includes a new addition called Lynne in the News, and another called Lynne as Contributor. There you’ll find a recent article that appeared in the Patriot Ledger on the changing role of step-dads and an article from the Boston Globe about mothers who write.

As you can probably gather from the inclusion of information on my novel, LIFE WITHOUT SUMMER, my family life work is moving in a new direction. I’m spending more time writing fiction, though even my novel is all about family life. LIFE WITHOUT SUMMER is going to be published in April by St Martin’s Press. Via the new blog and the Writers Group blog, I’ll keep you posted on the details of my writing life.

I continue to speak across the country, promoting NEGOTIATION GENERATION, which highlights my approach to taking back your parental authority without punishment. If your interested in setting up a program in your community, please be in touch.

So, have fun poking around the new site. There’s a lot there for you do read, listen to, and see. Of course, feel free to spread the word to interested family and friends. And do post comments there, it’s a great way for you to offer your own point of view on the topics I write about.

Life Without Summer mentioned in the Globe

The Boston Globe featured me in a story on mothers who write. It highlights all kinds of issues facing woman trying to achieve work family balance--in particular, writers. I'm also pleased that correspondent Seetha Narayan mentions the wonderful writing center in Boston called Grub Street and the forthcoming publication of my novel, Life Without Summer, from St. Martin's Press, slated for January.

Field Trips

Debra found out there wasn’t a nurse on the field trip only after her son Ben got stung by a bee and sidestepped a potentially life threatening emergency. Amy only realized her preschooler was going to the farm in another mother’s car—someone she barely knew—when she pulled into the school parking lot.

Will there be a nurse? Who’s driving? How many chaperons are going, and will they remind the children to drink water and reapply sunscreen? Here are six health and safety questions you should ask before a field trip. Being proactive when it comes to field trips can save your child from an emergency and you from a good deal of worry. Here they are:

Will there be a nurse on the trip?
If so, will she only give out prescribed medications or will she administer other things such as Tylenol, Calamine, etc...? If there isn’t a nurse on the trip, who is responsible for emergencies?

Is there an emergency plan?
Those in charge should know the hospitals along the way as well as be aware of the children’s allergies and medical conditions. Emergency information cards should be held in case contact information is needed.

Who is driving—reputable bus company, regular bus driver, other parent?
If any other transportation besides standard buses are used (these usually don’t have seat belts) there should be one seat belt or safety seat per child; never allow double buckling. The driving record of the driver should also be checked. And parents should be given a clear pick up time; children should never be left alone to wait for a ride.

What is the chaperon to child ratio?
The guidelines for supervision should be clear. Sometimes free time is allowed and parents are unaware this will occur. Chaperons should be expected to take an active role in 1) watching the children he or she has been assigned to supervise, 2) reminding children to eat, drink, and reapply sunscreen.

Do the children know what to do if they get lost?
Meeting places should be predetermined and the children should know cell phone numbers, their buddy system, or at the very least their specific chaperon. This should be done pre-trip, since once a child is excited about landing at the field trip, it’s harder to listen to the rules.

What is the natural environment of the field trip?
Mothers I spoke to recently were surprised by the nature of the trips their children went on. One field trip involved a hike through tall grass; this was a big issue for a girl who has had Lyme disease. Though not allowed to go swimming, another mother was surprised to find out that her daughter spent time by a lake; one without lifeguards. Be sure you know where exactly your child is going.

Parents and Dating

We've all heard the statistics--one out of every two marriages ends in divorce--and for the fifty percent who do part ways, many will attempt to reenter the dating game at some point.

It's a sensitive subject, and important for parents to figure out how to appropriately introduce their children to their new significant other. I spoke with Gene Lavanchy of the Fox 25 Morning News this morning, sharing some advice for how to talk to your kids once you're ready to date again.

For a video clip about parents and dating go to the website.

Gene asked me how honest parents should be about dating and if it's ever good to keep their dating life a secret. (The answer of course, is no.)

I shared the following tips for helping children adjust to a new relationship.

• Be honest, in age-appropriate ways
• Accept all feelings--yours and your child's
• Include your child gradually
• Don't force one-on-one time
• Allow your child to opt out of outings or at least participate as much as is comfortable

Power Struggles Over Practicing

Which scenario bothers you more; your child’s bright shiny trumpet or saxophone collecting dust in the corner, or the power struggle you’ll face if you ask your child to practice? Mark Campbell, Director of The South Shore Conservatory, a school for young musicians outside Boston, says, “A child’s interest is what kicks off desire to play an instrument. Any hurdles to playing well can be overcome with good support from parents.”

Power struggles are simply your child’s natural resistance to doing something new or tackling something hard. Unless your child is a prodigy, the younger she is, the harder it may be to coordinate fine and gross motor skills, or to pay attention and follow directions, especially without help from you. The good news is there are a number of things you can do to decrease conflict.

Pull up a chair
Ten minutes of practice time guided by you is worth an hour of musical chairs. Nagging your child to play, only serves to make practice time a negative experience.

Short and successful is sweet music
Campbell says, “Practicing, for the young musician, is mostly about creating muscle memory. Short bursts of practicing, a couple times per day, every day, will make it easier for your child to focus, and he’ll make progress faster, too.”

End on a high note
Encourage your child to start with warm-ups and then work on the hardest pieces first. Then when she gets tired, she’ll only have easy pieces left to practice.

Up the fun factor
More than likely, your child picked his musical instrument because he likes the way it feels and the sounds it makes. Keep your focus on fun by letting your child show off his emerging talent, play music he likes, and by allowing time for improvising.

Super Tuesday 2008--Please Vote

Here is a post I wrote last year. I'm not likely to flip flop on my sentiments about voting.

It's Super Tuesday; please vote. Not sure you will? Let me try to convince you. Your vote means so much to so many. It's your voice. You have the opportunity to tell politicians what you think and what you care about. Don't let anyone ever convince you that your vote doesn't matter. It always matters. You have the power to effect the outcome of an election. You have the power to change what's done in your community. And did you know that your choice to vote or not vote has the power to influence your child's choice to vote as an adult? It does.

Voting is one of many behaviors that research shows directly relates to what's been role modeled. Role modeling, what you show your child through your own actions, deeply ingrains thoughts, feelings and behavior. Role modeling is incredibly influential. My parents, Jack and Pat, not only voted in every election, they made me envy the power they had to cast a vote. Even today, I can't imagine foregoing the opportunity to cast my ballot.

When I was growing up, they talked about their favorite candidates for weeks before an election. Issues were front and center and discussed with passion over dinner each night. Then when they went to the polls, I was invited along. I remember my little hand in my father's as he walked up to the mysterious curtained booth. I waited just outside imagining the day I would get to go inside and make my choices known. Being an adult who had this right was something I couldn't wait for.

On election night, they would set up TV trays in the family room (we never ate dinner in front of the television). And the election night meal was always the same, a good steak, mashed potatoes and onion rings. If you were old enough to debate the issues, you were included in this expensive meal, a rare treat for our family. After the meal, once you got in your pajamas, you were allowed to fall asleep on the family room floor as donkeys and elephants flashed over the television screen.

The power of what my parents role modeled for me keeps me voting. And the tradition of steak and mashed potatoes while watching election returns continues in my own home to this day. Guess what we're having for dinner tonight?

Your child may not be able to vote yet, but you can. Make the commitment to shape your future and your child's. Role model social responsibility. Please vote.

Should Your Child Attend a Funeral?

No one, no matter how old, wants to attend a funeral, but fulfilling this social obligation is a must for adults. But what about your child? How young is too young? Does a child have to attend if you're to give a voice to your child's feelings about the death of a loved one?

This morning live at Boston's Fox 25 Morning News studio, I sat down with Kim Carrigan to discuss this sensitive yet important subject.

In the interview, I shared how parents can use their child's age as a guide. While every child should be shepherded through the process of a wake and funeral, there is really no age range for making the best decision for you and your child. What's more critical is to factor in your child's unique temperament, as well as his or her desire to be part of the grieving process.

Expect different reactions; no two children are alike. Each child will react and be effected by what's going on in your family in different ways. Remember, your child has no experience dealing with this and is learning some important coping mechanisms for the first time.

This complex topic has always been important to me and I urge you to read some of my previous blog spots on the subject.

Never underestimate your child's ability to learn about and begin to understand issues related to death and dying. Of course it's essential to be sensitive to his or her lack of experience, and regardless, find ways to give your child age appropriate means of coping.